Friday, August 08, 2008

weebles wobble

Maybe it’s the impending doom of turning 30, but I’m feeling more of a pressure to plan out the next years of my life. In my early 20’s I felt more like it was about fun and games, getting my BFA, getting a design job. Toward the end of my 20’s it was more about getting married, fun & games, traveling, finding ways to advance my career, starting my Masters. Now that a whole new decade is upon me, I’m starting to think about what the goals should be for the beginning of the next 10.

What sparked this was something as simple as one of my master’s classes getting cancelled. I need to choose another one to fill its slot, but I’m not sure what to replace it with. It makes me rethink about my career and question which direction I’d like to go in because I’m interesting in learning everything. Then it makes me think about the kid thing and wanting to have a career where I’ll be able to be a stay at home mom and still bring in a salary. And then it makes me think about where we’ll bring up our kids. And then it makes me think about the places we’ve been and the voice in the back of my head says “Screw everything, crack into your savings and move to Europe already, Dammit!”.

I think it’s just that there are so many unanswered questions floating around in my head. And for a list making-planner, it’s driving me crazy. Heck, my brain goes into overdrive when Gilday takes a different way home from a restaurant than I was expecting. It’s hard to live for the now when part of you wants to look forward to a clear picture of the future. You’d think I’d be more right brained about it instead of the left brainer I’m becoming.

I think that I’ll just go home and play with Charlie. Have a good weekend everyone.

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