I dont know....

I found out today that my Mom is starting to date. She was mentioning to me today that she went to dinner last night with a friend. I normally wouldn't say anything but, the way she said "friend" had me think twice. After some questions, she finally caved and said it was a guy she just happened to be seeing more of. She wouldn't tell me his name, what his deal was, or how she knew him. Just that she had dinner with him, and she was only out with him for about 2 hours. Home by 6:30, she said. She didn't want to give up any information, until she was ready.

I don't know. I just don't know how to feel about it. My mom is a young 55, and I don't expect her to stay in mourning for ever. She should go out and enjoy being single. She hasn't been since she was 16. But, it's my Mom. And even though my Dad was a prick to her in the months before he died, he was still my dad. They were married for almost 35 years. Doesn't that count for something? Does she only need a year and a half to grieve before she starts seeing someone? She stopped wearing her wedding ring right before our wedding, and that was just a year after he died.

I'm not trying to bash my Mom. She has overseen something that I couldn't fathom. The thought of losing my Gilday, it's so scary. I don't know how I'd go on without him. But, maybe my parents really didn't have the kind of love I thought they had. Maybe I'm still looking at my parents relationship through the eyes of an 8 year old, where everything was wonderful.

I dont know. Just because I'm not ready to see her with another guy doesn't mean that she's not ready. My feelings about it don't really matter. It's about my mom, and what she feels she needs to do.

Why does it make me feel so crappy.